I Really Hate Introductions

I've always hated introductions, even from day of being born. When I came out of the womb I was kicking and screaming as my mother passed around my naked body to family that would soon become distant relatives, and who would forget about us.

Why bother introducing myself? Why does it matter?

I'm sure you can recall the first couple days of school when every teacher is doing introductory activities. It seems like no matter what grade k-12, you're stuck with this ignorant, repetitive, worksheets that are all about you. They ask silly questions like, 'What's your favourite band?', 'Whose your best friend?', and all kinds of other nosey and useless facts that your peers don't need to know. Of course, these papers are mandatory, and you're obligated to suck it up and to write down a petty answer for a petty question, that in reality, nobody really cares about. Out of all the questions I've had to respond to over the past years of my schooling, I think the most relentlessly anguishing one was, the short synopsis. If you happen to not be a vocabulary nerd, unlike me, a synopsis is basically a short biography, or let's say, it's an 'about you' page.

I'm a junior this year, that means I've gone through over 10 years of these bullshit papers. And let me tell you, the biography killed me every time. I don't care about any of the other answers, but that damn biography glared at me like a cat on the prowl. I knew I had to write something- something witty and intelligent. Something that would make the teacher notice that I was different, because you know, I think I'm a special snowflake, like most teenagers think they are. I would sit and claw at my brain, writers block plaguing me at the worst moment, every single year.

After all these years, I think I've finally found a way to describe myself. This year, I'm sitting in my advanced CCP psychology course, quickly jotting down answers to the questions, and then it suddenly hit me. I bit my lip until it swelled and began to bled as I grinned with complete pride at my final conclusion, after all these long years the best way I could describe myself was, "needs improvement".