10 Realistic Tips for Surviving School If You're Shy Or Have Anxiety

I'm pretty certain we've all seen the, "Back to school, top 10 tips for..." blah, blah, blah. Realistic, are you going to benefit at all from that article? Chances are, you're not. Especially if you're like me, awkward and just simply too lazy to prepare two weeks ahead of time, like author suggests. So, I've compiled some real tips and tricks to help you get through school,

1.) Learn how to make smalltalk. 

I'm saying this from experience. I don't care if you hate people, or you're the most public adoring puppy there is. You are going to be put into situations where you're going to have to talk to people regardless and those people aren't going to want to talk about your hobbies or your political beliefs. There's simply not time nor do people probably really care. And you're probably asking, "Okay? So I'll talk about whatever we're working on.". Nice tactic, I give you props, but honestly... there's going to be awkward empty moments. Either between tasks, when class is over and you're stuck standing with your partner/group until you can dart out of the room, before you start working, when you're choosing who to work with, when you're just meeting these people, the list really goes on and on. And if you're not familiar with the topic, a simple google search can provide you with tons of resources, but I made a short 'ittle list of topics, to help get you started. 

• "I really like your _____. Where did you get it?"
• "I don't know how I feel about ______, what do you think?"
• "Do you know *insert friend's name*?"
• "Did you hear about so-and-so's scandal? I can't seem to avoid it!"

2.) Do your homework, seriously. 

This involves studying, too. I know, you're probably really busy, but hell, it's there for a good reason. Most teachers don't assign busywork as homework, it's usually work to help improve your knowledge or to allow you to practice a topic you learned in class. You're either in public schooling k-12, and getting free education or paying in college or a private school. If you're in public schooling, why waste the opportunity to further yourself for basically free?  If you're paying for school, you're paying, the hell would you not study or do your homework. Are you trying to waste money? Because you're basically paying to just fail. Also, homework is an easy grade and can help you retain information for longer, which in the long run really does improve exam grades.

3.) Avoid drama.

There's literally no purpose in it. You're young, and I hate to break it to you, but a lot of you are stupid and immature. It doesn't matter what "he said/she said". Let me just tell you a little secret....in 10 years from now you won't ever have to see that person again. So frankly, it doesn't matter what he/she thought of your purse/hair that one particular day. The best way to handle drama, is to just simply avoid it. Avoid people to cause it, and don't be the person who spreads rumors and talks about other people, because you're probably going to get it back ('ya know, karma?) and it will end up being this huge traumatic time waster. And frankly our time on this earth is precious and I for one, don't want to waste it worrying about what some looser who sat next to me sophomore year says about my shoes. 

4.) Find a "buddy" in each class.

If it ever comes down to the time where you need to pick a partner, or you're just super lonely and it's a free day in class, have a buddy. You don't really have to best friends, you can really be acquaintances at best. The second I walk into my new class on the first day I allow my eyes to quickly scan the room and look for exists and buddies, they're basically the same thing if you have anxiety like I do. Also, if you have anxiety/panic attacks, asthma, anything that can flair up unexpectedly, let you're buddy know! I personally when I have asthma attacks, have a hand motion I use, it's basically using an inhaler with me hand without an actual inhaler, and that allows me to leave the room to go do whatever I need to do to breathe. If you have a sub one day, or if you're teacher doesn't know about one of your disabilities/problems, they're probably going to stare at you (as well as the rest of the class who don't know) wide eyed, they might even tell you to stop acting up, because they just don't understand. Having a buddy to explain what's going on, makes this a whole lot easier. 

5.) Know where to go at social times.

If you're in high school, you're probably going to have a rec period and a lunch time. For kids with social problems, this can be extremely daunting. Not knowing where to sit, where to go, what to say, what to do? Personally, I have a plan worked out with my high school that I go sit in the student office during these times. Times to sort of just "cool down". I'm sure if you explain to administration, they can set something up with you to each in a safe place, and possibly even bring someone with you so you're not lonely.

6.) Communicate if you don't understand.

If you're not understanding a topic in class, don't just stare blankly at the board. Ask someone around you who is taking notes because chances are they're soaking a lot of the information in. If you don't want to talk during class, as leaving you can always ask for them to clarify something, or if you could borrow their notes for a day/period. Don't be scared to talk to the teacher either, if raising your hand during the class is too scary, you can usually email them after class and they can link you to a website for help, or if you have a good teacher, they can explain it or offer for you to come in early/late to go over the topic!

7.) Organize.

Alphabetize, colour coordinate, list, order of importance, chronologically, whatever works for you. Don't stuff all of your paper into one notebook or folder, because you're not going to be able to find anything later on in the semester and will be lost in an ocean of papercuts. Get a planner, it'll help you organize your time wisely. Get a notebook/binder/folder for each class, and organize the papers inside as well. Don't, I repeat, DON'T CRAM EVERYTHING INTO RANDOM FOLDERS EITHER. Colour coordination is the best for me, personally. For example, I have a blue english folder, blue english highlighter that I highlight the tops of each of my papers with so it's easier to organize, and a blue notebook. You might not need to really go that far, but at least make some effort here.

8.) Don't be too cool to be smart.

I always thought this was such a stupid concept. When you're out of school, being smart is what will make you "popular" and will really help you progress in the long run financially as well. If you really strive to be popular in high school, it's going to be a decision you're going to regret for the rest of your life. Great, you ended up the most popular person in your year. Okay, so now what are you going to do when it comes time to applying for a college or some other educational program and you can't even spell your name right on your state testing? This might be pushing the envelope, but I think it gets the point across. 

9.) Be kind.

You don't know who in 20 years is going to be your boss or your coworker. It might be that kid that sits alone at lunch that you always trip as he walks to the trash can. He's going to make your life a living hell hole if you end up working beside him. Plus, bullying isn't cool in case whatsoever. There's no need to walk around making enemies. Pulling others down might pull you up briefly, but karma's 'gonna get 'ya back. I can almost guarantee that.  And having a mean reputation will make nobody want to talk to you, but hey, maybe that's your goal, but think about my stronger points on this topic, okay? Being nice isn't hard to do and honestly will benefit you in the long run. Once freshman year this kid I never talked to, or ever really noticed honestly, asked me to borrow a pencil for the day. I told him to keep it, I know how much it sucks to loose a writing utensil somewhere where it's really essential. This year, I forgot my chrome book one day at school, at the beginning of the year. 

10.) Don't do anything that could look bad on your public record.

Sure, in all those movies you see high schoolers and college kids partying, drinking, doing drugs, whatever. Honestly though, when you're still in school it is not the time to get in trouble for things. Unlike when you're growing up, chances are you're not just going to get a slap on the wrist for doing something bad. This time, it may affect your college application process, or it can even get you expelled from college. If you get caught drinking underage, doing drugs, cheating or anything else idiotic, your school might not treat you like their best pupil. I'm not don't do these things, because I'm personally guilty of breaking the rules every once in awhile, just don't get caught.

I Really Hate Introductions

I've always hated introductions, even from day of being born. When I came out of the womb I was kicking and screaming as my mother passed around my naked body to family that would soon become distant relatives, and who would forget about us.

Why bother introducing myself? Why does it matter?

I'm sure you can recall the first couple days of school when every teacher is doing introductory activities. It seems like no matter what grade k-12, you're stuck with this ignorant, repetitive, worksheets that are all about you. They ask silly questions like, 'What's your favourite band?', 'Whose your best friend?', and all kinds of other nosey and useless facts that your peers don't need to know. Of course, these papers are mandatory, and you're obligated to suck it up and to write down a petty answer for a petty question, that in reality, nobody really cares about. Out of all the questions I've had to respond to over the past years of my schooling, I think the most relentlessly anguishing one was, the short synopsis. If you happen to not be a vocabulary nerd, unlike me, a synopsis is basically a short biography, or let's say, it's an 'about you' page.

I'm a junior this year, that means I've gone through over 10 years of these bullshit papers. And let me tell you, the biography killed me every time. I don't care about any of the other answers, but that damn biography glared at me like a cat on the prowl. I knew I had to write something- something witty and intelligent. Something that would make the teacher notice that I was different, because you know, I think I'm a special snowflake, like most teenagers think they are. I would sit and claw at my brain, writers block plaguing me at the worst moment, every single year.

After all these years, I think I've finally found a way to describe myself. This year, I'm sitting in my advanced CCP psychology course, quickly jotting down answers to the questions, and then it suddenly hit me. I bit my lip until it swelled and began to bled as I grinned with complete pride at my final conclusion, after all these long years the best way I could describe myself was, "needs improvement".