Am I An Extreme Introvert?

Last night I went out (somehow I convinced my grandmother to let me, don't ask how because honestly I have no idea...) with my current boyfriend. We went to his friends house for a bit and honestly? It was kinda nice. We walked to the park and played pool, we weren't there long though. I was a little anxious, don't get me wrong, but it was nothing compared to what was to come later. Later that night we attended a party, aka a hell-hole for me. There was maybe 4-5 people, less than that because they came in and out. I felt incredibly uncomfortable. I refused to speak and all I wanted to do was to cry! I kept my nose in my phone as long as I could until it died. So I left. I sat in the car until my boyfriend waddled out to let me take him home.
This had me thinking about being an introvert. I know, I suffer from PTSD and it is the reason I feel like I have to constantly have an escape route. It's the reason for my unneeded fight or flight instinct, too. But, what exactly is my introversion? Is this normal? Is it bad that I'm an introvert?

Introvert is defined as a shy, socially reluctant person.

If it was up to me, I'd describe it as crippling anxiety and fear of social interaction, but then again maybe that's just me! If I walk by a group of people and they start laughing, my mind instantly shoots to the idea that they're laughing at me. I did something wrong. They hate me. Is this introversion? I don't think so, I personally think it's more of a symptom of my anxiety.

I love being alone. I love being in company of someone I care about deeply too, but there's a limit until I have to resort back into my hermit home under my covers nuzzled into my computer. This is a terrible thing because it makes it hard for me to keep friendships. People assume I don't like them, or I'm rude just because I prefer to be alone.

Not Having Any Friends is Actually Pretty Cool According to Tumblr

Am I the only person whose utterly sick of every other person saying, "I don't have any friends, boohoo."?

A majority of these people really bother me because their claims are so empty that you're able to hear their own statements being echoed back at full speed. Sure, some of these speakers really have a vacant friend list, I get that. Quite frankly, I get that on a way too personal level.

Maybe it's just be, but I think it truly feels like teenagers are beginning to actually want to not have any friends. For some people, it's an easy task. For other's, their extroverted inner agenda's simply won't allow it. So in the end you'll end up with a large room full of these teenagers that claim "I don't have anybody." when two seconds later their phone blows up with 1,000 texts from their boyfriend/girlfriend, best friend, neighbor, and everybody else they know.

I get it, teenagers want to be cool, it's whatever. I myself feel this constant weight on my shoulders to be accepted by my peers as well, so don't feel like you're alone by any means.  I simply don't understand why this stigma of being alone in the world emerged in the first place. Isn't the objective of being liked, to have a large social group?

I think the trend began on tumblr, in all honestly. I used to be one of these people, a band member loving, other-people's tattoo/piercing/hair-dye obsessing, thinking-I-was-edgy, things. (Okay, I still love these things, but for god's sake I don't obsess over them anymore!) It seems like every blog I used to stumble upon or follow always had their descriptions plagued with something about how "alone" they were, and how they were infected by a string of mental illness, all self diagnosed using an online quiz, by the way.

Being alone constantly isn't at all cool. I'm a major introvert; I like being alone, don't get me wrong. But being alone constantly? I'll be the last one to admit that sometimes I get lonely truthfully. Being alone all the time is filled with longing feelings for contact, the dread of dying alone, you have nobody to trust or talk to, and most of all it can be extremely painful.

On the other-hand, there's people like me. We try to make friends, but struggle sufficiently.  No matter how hard I try it feels like everyone ignores me irregardless. I've tried everything, but I always scare people away from me. I'm sure I'm not alone on this, either.

If you're truly a loner, someone without friends, you'll understand when I say that I hate talking to people about being lonely.

"I don't have any friends, and it sort of sucks."
"Yes you do, you have tons of friends."
"Actually I don't."
"I'm sure you do! Stop being so pessimistic!"

OR

"If you're so lonely, why don't you make some friends?"
"I can't."
"What do you mean, you can't?
"I've tried, it isn't working."
"Try harder."

I don't understand why some feel the urge to make outrageous claims of being completely alone when in reality they have a slew of friends, and people that care about him.

I think my main point of this post is: if you actually have friends, please stop saying that you don't. Being friendless isn't cool, it's depressing. If you don't have friends, please know that you're not alone. There's others out there who feel just as lonely as you do, or maybe even more. Reach out, never stop trying.